Man VS Wild - The Ultimate Challenge - Survival in Chennai
Last night as I was surfing through the channels, I came across one interesting Adventure show in Discovery Channel.It was about survival.How to survive even if you find yourself stranded all alone in the middle of Sahara or Artic one fine morning.In this particular episode,Bear Grylls,who is the presenter of the show ended up being in patagonia ( which is a place in Southern America Located between Argentina and Chile, it comprises the Andes mountains to the west and south, and plateaux and low plains to the east).One would have to ask that guy itself how he got stranded there of all the places.Anyway that is not the point.As this place is almost bare of vegetation,this guy shows you how to survive for days by making maximum use of the available resources like digging inside a camels intestine for water,eating its testicles to make up for lost proteins and using its skin as protection to avoid freezing to death at night.In the end he does make it out of there using these strategies and more.Despite seeing his adaptability and courage to fight it out.I really do have doubts whether he would have survived here in Chennai working for an IT Firm.It certainly is starting to freek me out.I then started wondering whether or not to send a video of my life in chennai to Bear and to ask him - Patagonia cant be worse than this - can it be???
Surely not!!!! My battle for Survival starts right from the morning.Unlike Bear,my enemy is not mere Serpants or Wild Boars.Rather its of the more deadlier variety - my Alarm Clock.Gone are the days when I used to love the music of Pirates of carribean.Ever since it became my alarm tone,that is one music I cant stand.The war wages on for half an Hr with me Snoozing it only for it to fight back after every 5 mn.Conceding defeat and thinking about the face of TL with a pink slip in her hand,I draw up enough energy and start getting ready.After taking bath,I put on a pair of my new Jockey Inners,not that I'm that rich to thrash the cash on new Inners everyday,just that I'm too tired to wash them leaving me with no other option.It is in times like these,that one really wish one was married :) .Anyways.Then I put on a pair of already worn out formals and makes it brand new with just a press of my Axe Deo.Using the same strategy on my 3 weeks worn out socks,I'm all ready for the challenges ahead.
With one Kick of my Hero Honda Passion,I'm off along the ECR(Eastern Coastal Road) on a 11km journey to my office.Its almost 9.30 by the time I reach office.With less than 15 mn for the call with my On-Shore counterparts,I glance through the 120 pg document from which I was supposed to ask them some queries.Though I cant make the head or tail of it,I decide to question the validity of an innocuous looking statement among the thousands of statements given there not having a clue whether what I'm going to ask is Stupid or not.So finally at the fag end of the call,when my peer enquired whether I need any clarifications with regards to the new initiative,I trying to sound confident,flings that question against my Onshore counterparts.The reply was Instant "Come on,tell me Unni,What does that mean...Go through the entire documents again and give us the answer tomorrow" BOOM.vella aavishyavum undairunno.angane pavanayi shavamayi.Why the hell cant I shut my bloody mouth.That is that.
Now that its 10.30,it is time for the hunt to begin.Time for me to have my breakfast.Weighing up all the available options on the way to the Cafeteria including Onaka Vada,Bread Sandwich,dry chappathi,Oily poori and pongal,I settle on Masala Dosa and a glass of Boost (Yummy,The only good thing I have the whole day and of course there is also the juice).Now after trying to convince myself that I had a satisfying breakfast,I head back to my cubicle to start working or rather finger Excersising. My work basically comprises a routine step which you have to get good at,if you dream of reaching the higher echelons of your IT Firm.
This basically comprises of placing the thumb of your left hand on the left ALT Key,little finger on the left CTRL Key,ring finger on the Tab key,middle finger on the key C and your fore finger on key V.Also place two fingers of your right hand hand,one on Enter Key and the other on Print Screen Key.Once this is done,think of the person whom you hate most in this world and take all that anger against those 7 innocent keys.Once you master this art,you can proudly call yourself a SOFTWARE ENGINEER and thus begins your ALL EXCITING career in IT .
By 1.30,once the skin at the end of my fingers have got worn out,its time for me to have my so called Lunch.Two options lie in front of me -
1.Walk down to the cafeteria,make a random pick of the caterers,make a random pick of your main course and stuff it down my throat as retribution for all the sins I have committed.
2.Take the long walk to Thampuran (kerala restaurant) near our office to get a plate of good Kerala meals,risking myself of dehydration from the Chennai heat and of Unconsciousness from the Toxic smell ,which is so,so Unique of chennai.
But,With no Thampurati to come along with me to Thampuran,I decide to peg away my sins.Todays Main course consists of Chappathi and Channa Masala. A good look at the chappathi makes me wonder whether they made it so as to be consumed or to be used as paper weight.As for Channa Masala,It might be better than testicles,but then,that aint saying much,is it.To take the sour taste off my mouth, I have one glass of carrot juice and head back to my cubicle for furhter misery.
Mom - No 5 star hotel can come near the delicacies you prepare.
Now, with still 3 hrs to grudge out. I take my place in front of the metal box. With the work kinda done,I surf through thehindu.com for the rest of the day, keeping constant vigil over my AM's and TL's by keeping my fingers firmly on the ALT+TAB keys as I have already been warned by my AM once not to read Hindu and all in office :(
As the clock ticks towards 5.30 , its time for me to make the Great Escape.After ensuring that the AM's and TL's are not watching and confirming that the area is clear. Its time for me to make my dash through the corridor,down the stairs and out into the outside world.Breath of fresh Air atlast.
Its almost 6.15 and I'm home already. If it had been couple of weeks back,I would have had CAT - my passport from this frustrating life - to keep myself pre-occupied throughout the night .But having screwed that up and another year of toil and frustration in front of me,I try to find means to spend the rest of the day.
Having washed myself and getting an apple to bite, I settle down on Khaled Hossenis Kite Runner to relax my mind and traverse through the rest of the night.At 9.30, Our flat bell rings and dinner packed and parceled from kerala mess is ready to be gobbled down. If we take out of the eqution the fact that 3/4th of sambar is water and that we have the same uperi 7 days a week,the food is kinda Ok..Atleast the best thing available.After stuffing down most of it, i rest back on Khaleid Hosseini.When time ticks midnight, its time for me to cuddle back on to my bed with my brain shooting thousands of questions at me.Is this the kinda life I wanna lead on??How to escape from this mess??What to do with this life??What is my passion that I should pursue??What bloody thing should I do??With question marks written all over my life and all over my mind.I slowly glide away into slumber hoping my alarm clock wont wake me up any time soon..........
To put it short Bear, I would rather be in your shoes than mine...Anyways,looking forward to see you in action next week...